Diary of A Mainland Girl

Dear Diary, HAPPY BOXING DAY!! MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours! (I'm kinda like yours so in a way, I'm extra blessed, you know since I'm the one wishing you. 😀😁)Yesterday was Christmas and baybay it was fun! Interesting F. U. N! All along, I had been feeling nothing, nada, zilch, zero Christmas spirit and boy was I worried. I was worried that I had become one of those "adults" that have no Christmas spirit, the ones that have "grown up" and be like, "Christmas is for only kids". Oh I was fretting, I was worried to say the very least. Look, this is very important to me, I cannot lose the last of my innocence, I cannot! I have already lost too many, from the fact that I can no longer think about fruits like cucumber and bananas the same to the fact that this year, Tekno (he's a Nigerian artiste) ruined cassava for me!!!! Can I just not have anymore ruined for me?!! 😨😱 I have a child that I don't ever wanna lose inside me, she likes t...

Dear Diary, how are ya? Been a minute eh? I have been FABULOUS thank you for asking! My happiness level is increased day by day, I still go zero to a hundred on people (when I need to) but other than that, I'm chill. I'm not a perfect human, mba, faaar from it. But if there's one thing I try to do, I try to make myself a better version than I was yesterday. Is this easy? Hell naw! But I try. I admit when I'm wrong, I apologize when I'm wrong, I even ignore some things I would normally address. Today, I was going through Instagram and I saw a written meme that said "I look up and I see a blue sky, another person may look up and call it green, I don't argue with that person, I simply go home with the realization that to that person, the sky looks green". (I edited the words but basically this was it). I posted a photo on one of my darling groups, a photo which told a story, a story which the photographer was trying to pass. My darling friends didn'...

Dear Diary, I'm sad. No it's not exactly something personal, it's the world I live in. Yesterday, a 7 year old BABY was killed. They say he "tried to steal" garri. I couldn't bear to look at the photos, I forced myself to look at them. From the looks of the deep cuts his skin bore, they must have used cutlasses on him. Like that wasn't enough punishment, they tied his arms and legs and burned him alive. As I write, I'm crying and my heart is hurting. I occasionally stop typing and try to stop weeping but it's not working. How can people,, ADULTS more precisely do that to a child? How??!! Why didn't anyone do anything?? Where was the police? I couldn't function well after I saw that image. Do they understand that children are not responsible for the way they act? It was only garri!! Garri!!! This child was hungry!! Who kills people over hunger?? My fellow Nigerians do apparently. I love God but I'm starting to hate "religion". ...

Dear Diary, my mother's yelling woke me up today. Asin, I flew up o! No, this isn't me joking, mba, I felt myself levitate and start to fly. Period. Ehen, what was i saying again sef? Oh yeah, that's right.. My Mother. "YES MOM??!!" I responded in a voice that let her know she just upset me. I can't quite remember exactly the position I was when I responded, was I suspended in the air or was I on ground...my bed?? You can't tell me nufin Diarina, I flew, in my mind I saw myself flying, period. Is it your diary? Is it?? I know my witch of a sister reads what I write here and as she sees the part where I wrote "my bed" she's probably calling me a liar and considering leaving a comment letting the whole world know it's not "my bed". Yes yes, it belongs to her...the little witch! It's not even my room, I moved out of my room months ago..like a year now but who's counting? It's not like I moved out moved out, I simply sle...

Dear Diary, *whew!* lemme tell you about my yesterday!! It was an "environmental sanitation" Saturday, and as you can imagine, nobody could go anywhere until it was 10am. I patiently waited for 10am before I hit the road. I was going to the Island, Lekki more precisely. Reason? Modelling. Modelling for Davido's older sister Sharon (Rona). Let me tell you a bit about Rona. Rona is like me, only in a light skin and taller body. My God she is beautiful! She is sweet, she is easy to be around..etc. I remember watching her try on one of her "lace frontal wigs", a very blue one, and I muttered "so jealous!" She responded "guurl this wig is LIFE!" I went all "mmmmm hmmmm" (the African American way). I love her, I want her to be one of my best friends. Just as if I knew the shoot was going to drag for like the whole day, I made sure I was prepared. By this I mean, prepared for the party I was gonna be attending later on. A friend of mine ...

Dear Diary, I'm gonna be telling you about my yesterday. Before yesterday (Sunday), I was told that I'd be doing interviews for the premiere of a film called "The Grudge", I was informed on Saturday morning. Sunday came and as usual, I felt I had time, I literally lazied about and wasted precious time. When it was about an hour and half to go, I started running around, "hei my clothes! What should I wear?! Jesus eeee!! Which shoe should I wear? What makeup am I gonna do????!" I was practically disorganized! I managed to sit still and do my makeup without breaking sweat. Lemme tell you what happens to me when I'm tensed and I try to apply makeup in that state, I sweat! Asin better sweating o!! When I was done with the makeup, I marvelled at the fact that I didn't even break one sweat. Then I went to check my phone. Omo! Five missed calls from my senior colleague. "Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!" I cursed loudly. I glanced around to make sure my sister...

Dear Diary, I have missed the shit outta yoouuu!! Where do I even begin?! I'm so confused, I dunno what to write! *deep breaths* Okay, so my last week was busy, asin BUSY! From Funke Akindele and her husband JJC's new series (no, I cannot tell you the name, I don't think it's public yet.. Or maybe it is.. Oh well) to working a bit with the Coded tunes record label. Okay lemme tell you what I did for these two brands before you wee think I featured (not that I won't in the nearest future). For Funke and JJC, I did an interview and just stayed behind the scene mostly..watching, observing... For Coded Tunes, I was simply a Make up Artist who laughed, played and worked on faces. ID Cabasa is soooo simple, I love him! While I powdered his face, I told him how lovely his long pointy nose is. He laughed and told me he passed it to his beautiful daughter who needs it more than he does. Oh and he plays the piano very well!! The CEO of the label is a young girl, I can't q...

Dear Diary, I haven't named you yet have I? Some people think you are #Farrah, Farrah is just me replacing the usual "bye Felicia" so nah, you aren't Farrah. You I will call "Diarina". It sounds perfect yes? You're welcome Diarina. Sigh, I haven't gisted you in a minute, I'm sorry, I kinda got caught up in issues. This week was a bit uneventful save for today. Lemme brief you bout what I did from Monday to today. Monday,, I went to hang out with a friend who had been trying to hang out with me since 2014. This is not me being arrogant, no, this is just me telling you how long overdue the hang was. I left my comfort zone, rode public buses (because no money to waste right now, epp me!!), and went all the way to Gbagada to see Zemm. Yes, Zemm is his name. I even broke my rule and went to his house, he only just moved back to Lagos and wanted to show me his house. It was a nice house, I envied him. Before we left for a fast food restaurant, I advi...

Dear Diary, today was (still is) our independence day anniversary. Did I ever tell you what nationality I am? My bad, well I'm Nigerian, very Nigerian o, ignore all the senrenre I'm about mostly. I went to the studio earlier than normal because the show was moved forward. I was pretty miffed about this but oh well...... Show ended and I went straight to see my guuurl Trina, and we just talked and talked and talked some more! What we talked about?? Mind yo biz a little diary will ya? After a few hours, I left to see my brother Kennedy. He had been very elusive and was literally avoiding me!! I know I have problems yeah, but to avoid me??!!!! I mean all I do is whine and just throw a little fit... Okay maybe I overdo it sometimes but who cares?!! He should handle it! Let him see it as "home training". I'm training him for when he gets married. Period. I sha made him do a bit of what I wanted. Ugh! I wanted to bite him. I tried but he was kinda prepared for my atta...

Dear Diary, today there is nothing to tell you, nothing. Let me tell you what I'm thinking right now. I'm thinking of how happy I am, how happy I have been throughout this month of September. Happiness doesn't come easy for me, I struggle to find it, very simple, yet, complicated.... I've had a lot of miracles the universe blessed me with this month, with God allowing them to happen of course. You know, when I hear these blind people who think they know all about God and his ways talk, I laugh, and i wonder if they have any sense at all. How can you believe in God and not believe in his universe?? I recall a day, a normal day when I was sitting near one "oh so religious, righteous and I'm definitely going to heaven" person. A lady passed and was wearing what some consider "indecent". This "righteous" person literally condemned and passed all judgement upon the other lady. Reason? Outfit. I shook my head and wondered where in the Bible...

Dear Diary, I woke up happy, but it wasn't at my house, wasn't on my familiar bed either. The night before, I had met with some friends and it was a good evening. An evening of laughter, playfulness and more laughter. The friends are guys and I really like being around them, I'm a very guarded person when I'm around most people, by this I mean I still reserve a big part of me, I only show them the surface (which is nothing really), but these friends are one of the few males (heck even females) I lose all inhibitions with. I expose my "wild running child" and it amazes me how I'm able to just BE. When I left that house, I went straight to my "top on the list" male best friend's house. The night prior, while I was with the male buds I just told you about, I pinged him to talk about a music meeting he planned...WITHOUT ME. I accidentally found out, as I do mostly.I let him know I was upset about being left out, I mean come on!! I'm suppose...

Dear Diary, kedu? For once in my life lemme have small respect and greet you first. Odi kwa nma? Good! Now to my gossip.... Today I didn't attend mass. Reason, it rained (half truth), I was tired jor! No, not tired of God my father, I was bodily tired. There I was, lying down doing absolutely nada.                                  The Queen of Hearts. About the photo above shey? I was lazying about, doing nothing, then, Damilare's ping came in. He made a funny remark about being careful when dealing with Yoruba boys (had to do with my display picture at that moment), AKA Yoruba Demons. Diary, isn't that laughable? From his name "Damilare", you can see that he is a Yoruba boy abi? Short story shorter, he asked what I was doing later in the evening and I said; "nothing", I told him I knew a good fish place and we fixed a dinner hang out, no, that to me wasn't a date. He made me laugh so much, I could...

Dear Diary, today was the last Saturday of this very beautiful month. Here in Lagos Nigeria, we do something called "environmental sanitation" every last Saturday mornings. You know I host a radio show yeah? Ehen, good. Alarm went off at 5am, I didn't dilly dally today, it was a 'straight to the point' morning for me. I got ready and left the house by 6am. I waited for more than 10 minutes for a bus. While I was waiting, a woman (she looked to be in her late 30's/early 40's, I'm not sure) with 4 children (they looked between the ages of 5-11), quietly tapped me and I removed one of my ear pieces. She spoke Yoruba, "e jor aunty, e fun mi ni owo motor". I looked at her for some seconds and I could tell she was lying, she wasn't going anywhere. I asked her in English "where are you going?". Diary trust me I was devoid of any accent. I spoke clear Nigerian English. She didn't understand what I said so I looked at her oldest chil...

Dear Diary, today was a bit somehow, no, not a bad day, just somehow. Gloria left for Aba today. I had to wake up by 5 with her. She wanted pap so I went to the kitchen to make it for her, I wouldn't do that for anybody at 5 fucking am but Gloria deserved it, plus she was leaving my family today. Barrister Igwe (our neighbor) assisted in dropping her off, I glanced at the mirror to make sure I looked presentable (I didn't bother washing my face or even brushing, I brush before I go to bed so I could pretty much pull that off). I pulled her luggage (you know how those luggages are naw, the ones with the tires and shii) behind me and got into the car with it. Yo I was tired, I was like a robot just walking on command. I plugged in my earpiece and reduced the volume, selected the right kind of music for my mood and leaned my head against the door. I was half asleep, half awake. Barrister Igwe turned on his radio and I groaned in protest. I'm very sure he didn't hear me any...

Dear Diary, today I took the results to the Doctor for analysis. He looked at them carefully and gave me answers, answers which I'm not satisfied with. Earlier, (before I got to that hospital), I had seen shege first. It had rained a little and you know how it is here in Lagos Nigeria whenever it rains. Traffic from hell shows up, transportation becomes double the original fare, heck, buses even become scarce! I will never know why this happens, ever. Let's not even talk about how I suffered, talking about it will get me upset so,, NO. On my way back, I felt so weak, my energy level was so low I almost fell. I couldn't wait to get home. I FUCKING NEED A CAR!! DO SOMETHING!!!!!! It's not fair that some other people get cars as gifts and I don't. Really NOT fair. Don't gimme that "life's not fair,, bla bla" horseshit! My landlord has 3 fucking cars, he can only drive one at a time (because not alien abi?) Ehen, so since he is only human after all s...

Dear Diary, today I woke up fabulous. Happy, etc. Nothing extraordinary happened during the day. I had a lot of fun this evening/night. Good energies flowed around my BBM. I laughed and had fun. I also bantered with Kelechi Nwaike over gender roles, I stood firmly on my point of view regarding sex and gender. If a man calls a woman a 'slut' because she has sex just as freely as he does, he too is a 'slut'. Period. Nobody can tell me nonsense. Kelechi is a young man I respect so this is no diss, I think he is brilliant too. The only problems we have is when it comes to Sex and Gender roles, other than that, we are good. Goodnight Diary, I'll visit you tomorrow. Xoxo.                This was beautiful for me                    

Dear Diary, I'm writing this part almost immediately, I decided not to wait, the rest I will wait, but this is urgent for me. I woke up feeling heavy hearted, I'm not sure why. My heart started singing Jasmine Thomson's "do it now" so I opened one eye and grabbed my phone, plugged my ear piece in my ears and searched my playlist for that song. I needed to cry, the old me wasn't a girl who cried, she was a girl who took it all in until her heart ached, she saw crying as a sign of weakness and she was not a weak girl. The new me knows better, she knows that crying is strength and not weakness, it does afterall take a strong person to express emotion. Next I played Jasmine's "adore you" and I allowed my self cry, I backed Gloria and quietly cried, she didn't know. I cried with my eyes closed and the music played on. May heaven bless Bianca Bella for being the one to introduce me to Jasmine Thomson's music. My sister came in from the bathroo...

Dear Diary, i managed to wake up by 6;45am today, I felt so weak and my energy level was low, dangerously low. I clutched my sides and went to the kitchen to boil some hot water, cold got trapped inside me again. The Landlord didn't pump water and I was miffed, (my sister wanted to draw his blood). I laughed at the mini me's anger, I swear that girl is my sister...when she isn't being an idiot that is. Gloria was the first to bath, me? I was still dragging my feet and groaning. Okay I managed to bath and get ready, the car was waiting (I think I made us late..I'm not sure). Church was lit! Yes we arrived late but I like the attention, I like that people stare at me. Father Thaddeus our dear parish priest was presiding for this mass. We were late so we had to stand outside for the homily to be over. People were staring at my face, my anklet at my left foot, and when I spoke, their necks nearly snapped as they were trying to see who spoke, (I have this effect on people...

Dear Diary, the alarm I set for 6;30AM went off, the tone? Bad Girls by Mia. I love that song, it does something to my mind and I get a rush of adrenaline. I stood up, went to the other side of the bed and turned off the alarm, I didn't wanna wake The Lady Vivian. I quietly went to the bathroom and did all I needed to do there, wore my clothes and proceeded to do a little bit of makeup, the lightening was poor so I had to be careful. She woke soon enough and we said our greetings, we laughed a bit at some of the events of the party. I checked my phone for time and discovered I was gonna be late if I didn't do something fast! Uber!! The driver's registered number was turned off, my registered number was also turned off but I knew he was trying to call me as I was too (using my other phone). I started saying a prayer and soon, I reached him. Short story shorter, he came and I said goodbye to Vivian and left. I arrived at the studio on time (hallelujah!) Great show it was, ...

Dear Diary, we all woke up early today, 6;45am is very early in my books. I said my prayers, picked up my phones (one before the other), read the messages and responded to the ones I deemed worthy of my response (I don't allow negative energy anywhere near me, my soul doesn't like it so I protect her from negative vibes). I had people to see today and limited time to see them so I started running around, first, I steamed my face (sebum was killing me with oils), then I bathed. My baby sister (Ogechi Assumpta Valerie), wanted to go out and she wanted to borrow one of my outfits (I dunno why she does this, she has new clothes o!). Anyways, I gave her permission and she wore it, it's a short dress that I never wear with any pants underneath, by "pants" I mean "trousers, leggings.." She wears pants under her short outfits, but today, she didn't wanna wear any and I was a bit upset (worried). "Are you gonna wear that like that?" I had asked, ...

Dear Diary, I woke up early and very positive. I went to my closet and fished out the dirty laundry I've had since like 3 weeks (or more). Settled down to washing, but not before I prayed to God for strength. I really HATE laundry. Finished washing and moved on to washing the bathroom. I was active in the other other group (my new fave, I've got 4 currently), "Getaway" it's called. It was a fun morning with them today and I enjoyed the banter. The females are very beautiful and real, I love that about them. The rain fell for a bit and I was irked by that, I mean come on!! I just washed!! Soon enough it stopped and I set out to buy "Brazilian wool" for my hair. I like that wool because it doesn't break my hair or hurt my scalp. My "hair dresser" told me her price and I gave her mine (economy, as everyone says nowadays) *shrugs*. I sat down and she got to making my hair, I find it hard to sit for more than an hour and soon enough, my bum b...

Dear Diary, today I woke up to some pretty annoying messages. I refused to address most of them even at the risk of being viewed as a horrible human (this has always been my problem since high school). But lemme tell you one thing Diary, I don't really care, I'm very "Zen" like that, it's how I'm programmed to function (more like how I programmed myself). Today was my CT Scan day and I was very, very, very NERVOUS! So you now see why I couldn't be bothered with all that crap? Good. I did my makeup as best as I could manage, all things given, grabbed my "money purse" and put it in the bag I chose for today. I have become very conscious of my "money purse" and making sure there's actually money inside,  (because one day I forgot to put money in it and got stranded...well almost). Back to today, as I was about leaving, my good friend and neighbor Olabisi held my hand and said a prayer for me, I inhaled and sucked in the positive ene...