Dear Diary, today I woke up to some pretty annoying messages. I
refused to address most of them even at the risk of being viewed as a horrible
human (this has always been my problem since high school). But lemme
tell you one thing Diary, I don't really care, I'm very "Zen" like
that, it's how I'm programmed to function (more like how I programmed myself).
Today was my CT Scan day and I was very, very, very NERVOUS! So you now see why I couldn't be bothered with all that crap? Good. I did my makeup as best as I could manage, all things given, grabbed my "money purse" and put it in the bag I chose for today. I have become very conscious of my "money purse" and making sure there's actually money inside, (because one day I forgot to put money in it and got stranded...well almost). Back to today, as I was about leaving, my good friend and neighbor Olabisi held my hand and said a prayer for me, I inhaled and sucked in the positive energy, thanked him and stepped out, leaving him there in our living room. I stood at the bustop for about 10mins, waiting for a bus, (yo I was almost tempted to Uber). Finally, one came and I carried on with my journey, ear piece plugged in and music blasting away, the way I like my music, loud and deafening.
Arrived at the hospital (Clinix, I visit three hospitals because of this health glitch I've got). I walked up to the reception, smiled at one of the receptionists and she gave me a warm, sincere smile in return. I gave her the letter my urologist gave me, the letter contained the exact scan I was to do, she told me the amount and I smiled and told her I'd be paying with my debit card. She told me to have a seat and I did, soon it was time for me to pay and I did.
I was given a jug of water and told to drink every 5 minutes till it was empty. Then a nurse practitioner came and inserted a kind of needle (I dunno what it's called and I didn't ask) into my vein, then, she took some of my blood and stopped the rest with a stopper (I think) and left it in my vein. She gave me a form to fill and I happily did, until I came to one clause... "I am fully aware of the risk/danger which may arise on account of/or in the course of carrying out the above test...." the rest you will read for your self Diary, i will post the photo for you to see. I told her I wasn't signing that until she told me what the possible risks were, now that I think about it, she didn't really tell me anything!!! Afterwards, she gave me a hospital suit to put on, with the instruction to "take off everything you have on, EVERYTHING." She showed me the dressing room and I went in, I chuckled to myself and mimicked her a little bit, then I got down to stripping. I watched my naked body for some seconds before putting on the outfit I was given, took deep breaths and came back out. I finished the water and the "lead doctor" (as I choose to call him) for the scan came for me.
The Scary Clause
The Stopper
The machine levitated and drew me in, i watched in amazement at the whole show, it was fascinating i tell you. The voice came from the speaker for me to "stop breathing". I took a lung full of air and ceased my breathing, then the "you may now breathe" came and I sucked in air like my life depended on it, (technically, my life did depend on it). The machine moved me back and forth and something inside it kept going round and round my midriff. The nurse practitioner came back for me and while my hands were still trapped in that "Jehovah's witness" crucifix image, she prepared to attach something to my finger, I couldn't see what it was because I was literally held hostage (without even being confined). She told me, "this will hurt you briefly and may make you feel like vomiting or dizzy, or any other thing, are you ready?" I exhaled and inhaled before I told her, "I'm ready". Then she called out in a loud voice to those operating the machine from the other room (the transparent glass helping them see us) to, "GIVE!". instantly, I felt something enter my vein and start to circulate my whole bloodstream, I screamed in pain but the pain was short lived (thank God!), I felt warm and my whole body started to tremble, I was jerking and trying to control the jerks because "lead doctor" had told me to, "lie still and not move my body". My bladder became full and I was hot and cold at the same time, I started praying to God to make it all over quickly, my prayers were answered but not quickly. I spent nearly 50 minutes lying under that machine. Diary, if you see how I dashed for the bathroom and peed like a chicken ehn! (Sharaap, who told you chickens don't pee ehn? Mtcheew!)
The CT Scan machine
I changed back to my outfit and waited for 3 hours to get my results, I had nothing better to do and it was raining anyways so... While waiting, I started watching videos on Instagram, did I tell you my bad habit of laughing too much? Diary, I laugh like a hyena, you know the ones from the animation "Lion King" AKA "Simba"? Ehen, that's how I laugh when something is really funny. You cannot imagine how hard I struggled not to laugh and Ogechi Assumpta, my stupid sister kept tagging me to them! I stumbled upon TY Bello's post and instantly sobered up. The sight of those displaced children in Borno state was enough to knock the sunshine outta me. Oh lest I forget, while at the restaurant, a girl walked in and ordered for "amala", the same thing I had ordered for earlier, I watched her, yes I did. First, she cleaned the table (which was neat by the way) before putting her wet umbrella down. I smiled to myself and whispered "OCD", then she got her food, but rather than wash her God given hands and eat the way God made amala to be eaten, sister carried fork ooo. I ignored her completely and decided she wasn't my type of human.
Long story short, I got my results and headed home. The good lord was too kind to me and didn't let a single drop of rain beat me. I have gisted you enough Diary, please let me go because, echi wu another day (tomorrow is another day).
Today was my CT Scan day and I was very, very, very NERVOUS! So you now see why I couldn't be bothered with all that crap? Good. I did my makeup as best as I could manage, all things given, grabbed my "money purse" and put it in the bag I chose for today. I have become very conscious of my "money purse" and making sure there's actually money inside, (because one day I forgot to put money in it and got stranded...well almost). Back to today, as I was about leaving, my good friend and neighbor Olabisi held my hand and said a prayer for me, I inhaled and sucked in the positive energy, thanked him and stepped out, leaving him there in our living room. I stood at the bustop for about 10mins, waiting for a bus, (yo I was almost tempted to Uber). Finally, one came and I carried on with my journey, ear piece plugged in and music blasting away, the way I like my music, loud and deafening.
Arrived at the hospital (Clinix, I visit three hospitals because of this health glitch I've got). I walked up to the reception, smiled at one of the receptionists and she gave me a warm, sincere smile in return. I gave her the letter my urologist gave me, the letter contained the exact scan I was to do, she told me the amount and I smiled and told her I'd be paying with my debit card. She told me to have a seat and I did, soon it was time for me to pay and I did.
I was given a jug of water and told to drink every 5 minutes till it was empty. Then a nurse practitioner came and inserted a kind of needle (I dunno what it's called and I didn't ask) into my vein, then, she took some of my blood and stopped the rest with a stopper (I think) and left it in my vein. She gave me a form to fill and I happily did, until I came to one clause... "I am fully aware of the risk/danger which may arise on account of/or in the course of carrying out the above test...." the rest you will read for your self Diary, i will post the photo for you to see. I told her I wasn't signing that until she told me what the possible risks were, now that I think about it, she didn't really tell me anything!!! Afterwards, she gave me a hospital suit to put on, with the instruction to "take off everything you have on, EVERYTHING." She showed me the dressing room and I went in, I chuckled to myself and mimicked her a little bit, then I got down to stripping. I watched my naked body for some seconds before putting on the outfit I was given, took deep breaths and came back out. I finished the water and the "lead doctor" (as I choose to call him) for the scan came for me.
He told me to "lie down" and I obeyed, he
positioned me on the machine and gave me some instructions. I had to strain my
ears as he was/is Indian, with a very heavy Indian accent, (I can do this
accent too Diary). He told me to raise my hands above my head and he clasped
them together as though I was being crucified (the Jehovah's Witness
description of how Jesus was crucified). I looked him in the eyes and asked,
"will this hurt me, will I be in pain??". He smiled and reassured me
that it was nothing I couldn't handle. Leaving me with the instruction not to
move my body, that I should lie still and cease breathing when he instructs me
to. Hei! I swallowed hard oo. Cease breathing kwa??! I nodded, but inside me I
told myself to breathe if I was suffocating, abeg. He left that room and went
to another, there were health practitioners in there with him, a transparent
glass separated the two rooms and from there, they all watched me.
The machine levitated and drew me in, i watched in amazement at the whole show, it was fascinating i tell you. The voice came from the speaker for me to "stop breathing". I took a lung full of air and ceased my breathing, then the "you may now breathe" came and I sucked in air like my life depended on it, (technically, my life did depend on it). The machine moved me back and forth and something inside it kept going round and round my midriff. The nurse practitioner came back for me and while my hands were still trapped in that "Jehovah's witness" crucifix image, she prepared to attach something to my finger, I couldn't see what it was because I was literally held hostage (without even being confined). She told me, "this will hurt you briefly and may make you feel like vomiting or dizzy, or any other thing, are you ready?" I exhaled and inhaled before I told her, "I'm ready". Then she called out in a loud voice to those operating the machine from the other room (the transparent glass helping them see us) to, "GIVE!". instantly, I felt something enter my vein and start to circulate my whole bloodstream, I screamed in pain but the pain was short lived (thank God!), I felt warm and my whole body started to tremble, I was jerking and trying to control the jerks because "lead doctor" had told me to, "lie still and not move my body". My bladder became full and I was hot and cold at the same time, I started praying to God to make it all over quickly, my prayers were answered but not quickly. I spent nearly 50 minutes lying under that machine. Diary, if you see how I dashed for the bathroom and peed like a chicken ehn! (Sharaap, who told you chickens don't pee ehn? Mtcheew!)
The CT Scan machine
I changed back to my outfit and waited for 3 hours to get my results, I had nothing better to do and it was raining anyways so... While waiting, I started watching videos on Instagram, did I tell you my bad habit of laughing too much? Diary, I laugh like a hyena, you know the ones from the animation "Lion King" AKA "Simba"? Ehen, that's how I laugh when something is really funny. You cannot imagine how hard I struggled not to laugh and Ogechi Assumpta, my stupid sister kept tagging me to them! I stumbled upon TY Bello's post and instantly sobered up. The sight of those displaced children in Borno state was enough to knock the sunshine outta me. Oh lest I forget, while at the restaurant, a girl walked in and ordered for "amala", the same thing I had ordered for earlier, I watched her, yes I did. First, she cleaned the table (which was neat by the way) before putting her wet umbrella down. I smiled to myself and whispered "OCD", then she got her food, but rather than wash her God given hands and eat the way God made amala to be eaten, sister carried fork ooo. I ignored her completely and decided she wasn't my type of human.
Long story short, I got my results and headed home. The good lord was too kind to me and didn't let a single drop of rain beat me. I have gisted you enough Diary, please let me go because, echi wu another day (tomorrow is another day).
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