Diary of A Mainland Girl

Dear diary,  Its has come to the end of the year, this year 2017, a time to reflect and look back on the way the year was spent. I don't quite know where to start my reflection, but my mind takes me back to the Eve of this year. There I was in church, Christ The King Catholic Church. I was happy, I was thankful, I was a dancing child. I still remember what I wore, the make up I wore,,, I have photos and a video. Sigh. I remember greeting folks I knew, and I remember leaving by nearly 1am. I worked on the first day of the year, a great way to start a year. Makeup on 6 girls. I remember my back and hips breaking....or at least that's what it felt like, I remember falling sick the next day. I had pushed myself too hard.  I remember my birthday, the 16th of January. I remember the tons of calls, the texts, the social media takeover! My birthday was EVERYTHING!! People showed me something beyond love, that wasn't love, it was something above love, it was God, it was Heav...

Dear diary, yesterday was my country's independence day anniversary, I suppose it's safe to assume you are Nigerian as well, you know, seeing as you're MY diary. Right?? Anyways, I had made plans with two of my best friends, Gabby and Trina, to go see a movie. I'd seen the trailer sometime last month and I was like, 'I MUST see this with my gurls!!' The movie is titled "The Women".  Do you remember that one time I was dying to see the film "Wedding Party" and i missed it? I couldn't let that happen again! Asin I COULDNT!!! TRINA.... Let me tell you something about Trina. That girl has serious issues with time. Trina is NEVER on time. If you like, tell her an event is by 9pm, she'd still not have gotten ready by then, there'll be one excuse or the other, you can count on Trina for excuses. Knowing her, I told them to get ready by 5pm. I had another best friend (Blessing) call Trina to inform her that I had a flat battery and i ...

Dear diary, last week was very intense and nerve-racking for me. It was the final week of my "Confirmation". We were made to attend a retreat, go for confession, etc. The retreat was very boring (and unnecessary, IMO). I had to sit there and watch a couple of annoying catechists talk and show themselves. I literally had to tell myself to relax and shut them all out. It was the final week, I was almost there. See, I have no problem with the elderly catechist, just the cockroaches who think the are catechists, okay to be fair, I like(d) two of them, the rest could crash and burn for all I care. With all this confirmation drama, I got worked up. It was evident. Stress reflects on my face. What is this bloody "confirmation" this girl keeps talking about? Confirmation is a sacrament of the Catholic/Anglican church. Let me give you the church's definition. "Confirmation is a sacrament through which we receive the holy spirit, in order to make us strong perfect ...

Dear diary, how have you been? Me? I have been broke, I mean very broke, I mean very, very broke! How does Jenifa put it again sef..... Ehen! "I dey Brooklyn". Like that is not bad enough, I was sick. I cannot exactly describe it with actual words, I mean the sickness, but it wasn't fun. The pain, the fever...mehn its never pretty. It makes me feel different emotions. I'll go from self pity to anger, then to weakness, then to numbness. It's the numbness I worry about. Anger is good, keeps me going, gives me "fire", but the numbness?? It's neither good for me nor the people around me. I become "dead". Not caring, nothing. In that state, I could be walking on the road and I wouldn't care if a motorist kills me. You see why numbness is bad for me?? I pushed all my friends away, I switched off my phone (even when I had it powered). People started telling me was being cold towards them, etc. I went through this for about two weeks (or more)....

Dear Diary, wassup wassssuuuuupp!!! (I'm not asking, I'm telling you). So the past few weeks have been packed with various challenges, and with these challenges came different kinds of emotion. I went from hyper, to meh, to omg, to angry, to help me! Etc I don't feel ready to disclose the basic reasons why I've felt this way. Hopefully I'll find the....courage? (Is this the word I'm looking for? I'm not sure but I'll settle for this) So, the "courage" to tell you. One thing I can say for sure tho, it wasn't easy, but there are people in my life who make it better for me, these people won't leave me (it seems). They have made it their job to "check on Amy, make sure she isn't drowning". I'm not mocking, I'm legit appreciative. These people aren't even my "family" (you get me?) But I consider them family, I don't care what social studies told me. I was supposed to be in my state by now, technicall...

Dear Diary, It's been over two months since I last came to you. I won't apologize, but I'll try to explain why. By the end of February, I was getting more and more disturbed and angry at a bunch of people. These people had no idea what I could do to them or their social standing. They kept pushing buttons they couldnt handle. See, I have little or nothing to lose, I love to remind people of this fact so they know not to push me. These other people on the other hand, had A WHOLE LOT to lose. But nah, they be playing. I'm trying to do better, be better,, because of this I opted for the "leave" option. Better for all of us o. So I stayed away from almost everyone for a complete month. Some people thought I was sad or depressed, fam, I was breathing easy, having good flow of energies around me. I was only a little ill at a point but I beat that crisis. (No, I'm not a sickle cell patient). During this "leave of absence", people kept checking in on me....

Dear Diary, I apologize for the long break. I'll try to do better, observe more. People who care, have asked me to write and oh my heart loves them. People know I'm a Feminist. I don't even hide it, neither do I care who likes that I am or who don't. If you admire that, more grease to your elbow, if not, oh well... But here's the thing that irks me, when people tag me to subjects that aren't even about feminism. For starters, you NEED to know the definition of a "Feminist". A Feminist is a PERSON (notice how I didn't say "female"?) who believes in the political, moral, social and economic equality of the sexes (gender) regardless of race, ethnicity, socioeconomic class, religion, ability and sexual orientation. These stated, I wonder how some subjects that have absolutely nothing to do with the subject of feminism, manage to crop up. How? Just how? This past Saturday, I attended a wedding, a very lively wedding. Then it got to the...

Dear Diary, my day had funny turns. First I arrived at the studio and none of my trainees were around. My energy level was next to nothing. I hate when that happens, I have to constantly have energy, whether mental or physical, I just must have ENERGY. I personally prefer the mental one. Because I literally can do ANYTHING and EVERTHING. It's how I'm programmed to function. Anyways, low energy meant dull face/almost lifeless. A friend finally came and he noticed I was rather...Zen. This worried him as he had NEVER seen me look blankly. (I can imagine how lifeless my eyes were). My eyes, they give me away. If I'm sad and forcing a perfect smile, just look into my eyes, the truth would be staring at you. It's why I love to wear shades.. Unreadable. This friend tried to cheer me back to life by tickling me. Dead. He ruffled my hair. Dead. He touched my face (normally I'd react cos I really hate this). Dead. He moved my chin side to side. Dead. Finally, he pulled me up ...

Dear Diary, You already know yesterday (the 16th) was my birthday. Even as I write, I have no clue how to express myself, I'm just...winging it. Because time. The birthday tension started by 10pm on the 15th. I started trembling, panting, pacing, imagining.. YOU NAME IT!!! (yes! In that pastor's voice). My friends already started the countdown. Jane, Aanuoluwapo and a few others. It started to dawn on me that I'd be 25 in a few and lord was I shaking!! Yeni (he is a group member from one of my bbm groups called "The Getaway"..I have mentioned this group a few times) called me first, at 11;58. I was laughing and telling him he called too early, that he should hold on. He started counting the time while still on the phone with me. At exactly 12, he wished me a happy birthday. My cousins Chizzy and Nneoma called me next. (Respectively). Then the bbm messages started. Pinkie blessed me and had beautiful things to pass across to me. I knelt down and said "amen...

Dear Diary, HAPPY NEW YEAR OOOO!!!!!! Iyam so very happy ehn! You cannot understand nne, hafu okwu! Ehem, my birthday is coming soon. The 16th of this fabulous month.. January (just in case some people dunno ni o). There will definitely be a gathering of some sorts, 25 is not a joking sturv! I already bought a pack of cake mix. See lemme o, I wantu DIM (DO IT MYSELF) fess, if I fail, I wee buy an insta cake from a cake shop, but biko, I gotta try. I want to. When I'm hella bent on doing something, even hurricane Katrina cannot stand in my way, I am NOT joking. So yeah, this gal is gonna bake her own damn cake and make people eat it! But it'll be fine..I think. Anyways, there's always option two,, BUY. Hen! There are quite a few things I wish for (oh God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob and Uzoamaka please help me). I'll state them now. Plix grant my wish somebody? Anybody?? 😢 1) CAKES. PLENTY CAKES. DIFFERENT FLAVORS, SHAPES, SIZES OF CAKES!! I'm trying to get diabetes...