Dear Diary, my day had funny turns. First I arrived at the studio and none of my trainees were around. My energy level was next to nothing. I hate when that happens, I have to constantly have energy, whether mental or physical, I just must have ENERGY. I personally prefer the mental one. Because I literally can do ANYTHING and EVERTHING. It's how I'm programmed to function. Anyways, low energy meant dull face/almost lifeless. A friend finally came and he noticed I was rather...Zen. This worried him as he had NEVER seen me look blankly. (I can imagine how lifeless my eyes were). My eyes, they give me away. If I'm sad and forcing a perfect smile, just look into my eyes, the truth would be staring at you. It's why I love to wear shades.. Unreadable. This friend tried to cheer me back to life by tickling me. Dead. He ruffled my hair. Dead. He touched my face (normally I'd react cos I really hate this). Dead. He moved my chin side to side. Dead. Finally, he pulled me up and requested that I follow him and another guy to go buy something. I followed. Like a zombie. My arms were folded on my chest. Call it my defense mechanism if you will. We bought and went back. I was still dead.
Finally, Amarachi (one of my trainee) arrived. She appolozied for her lateness and told me her reason. "Why didn't you tell me this over the phone" I asked her with my teeth clenched. It's how I suppress anger I don't want erupted. She's a nice girl and she apologized anyways. "Settle in and make me up", I told her..with a smile I could easily come up with. My photographer/friend arrived almost immediately she did, somehow, they both brought back life into me. I don't know why or how, but life came back. The other friend noticed and he teased me saying "oh so it's them that can make you smile abi?" I simply laughed and shrugged. Yo even I didnt know the answer to that.
My trainee did the wrong "look" but somehow it gave me a "va va voom" look. I liked it very much. Of course she still needs more practice but we'll get there. She showed me two tickets she had, for free coldstone ice-cream. Yay! (Wait for it) As I was getting ready to follow her to the Ikeja City Mall (Lagos), a guy (he comes in once in a while) walked in and had the nerve to rubbish my girl's work. I asked him if he could do better and he affirmed. Diarina, because I wanted to see him fail, I dropped my bag, pulled up a chair, brought out my brush set and products (that I had already neatly packed away) and placed them in front of him. "Show me", I said to him. Diarina!!! This nigga had no clue which brush was for what! I mean I expected failure but not this bad!! My eyes couldn't believe what I was seeing! He used brow blending brushes for the eye shadow application, he pounded Amara's face in the name of applying foundation, he used lip brushes to highlight the browbone. Etc. Inside me, I wanted to faint. How I managed to remain calm beats me. Maybe the pacing and music in the background helped. I don't know. Poor Amara. Her face had to go through that torture. I would come, look at his....(I have no name), go back, pace some more. When he was done, everyone in the studio wanted to die!! Amarachi didn't quite know how to scream the scream I could clearly see in her throat. Lord knows my shriek wudda woken up the dead if it was me. Amen.
After wiping....that off her face, we left for coldstone. On the road, she kept going back to that horrible "makeup" experience. Gosh I hate having to use that term for the crapity crap he did! Sigh. Moving on, we arrived at Coldstone and I smiled and showed them our "free tickets". Hahahahhahaha wasn't so free after all. I ended up spending extra 900naira plus the tickets. It was supposed to be 700. Because oreos and wafers. Where the remaining 200 came from, by God and his angels, I DONT KNOW!!! I asked the girl on the counter (who was very grumpy BTW) how the extra money came about and she said some mumbo jumbo bla bla bla yadiyadiya father had a donkey. I smiled and told her, "even though I don't understand what you just said, please just give me the change you want give me". I had given her a thousand naira. Coldstone done, I decided to branch into shoprite to see my friend Joy. It's sorta like my tradition. Come to Ikeja City Mall, see Joy before leaving. Joy seen, I went to the restroom with Amara and oh the stench! I still will report this to the management. People need to get fired or adjust. I don't even give a fuck. Do your job. I don't care. This is not me being mean or whatnot, I believe in people doing their jobs! You getting paid init?? I almost got a guy fired from his job at Silverbird cinemas one time. I went to see a movie, queued up for popcorn. See lemme tell you, that popcorn costs 600naira,at least at that time. That popcorn didn't contain gold, silver or diamonds. Heck, it didn't even contain butter! The ones I buy for a 100naira or even 50naira tastes much better!! Okay, there I was queuing up and this guy had the nerve to ignore me. I tried patience, after ignoring me three times, I nicely spoke to him. He had the never to raise his voice and snap at me. I left. And headed straight for management. I requested to speak with whoever was managing and she came out. Short story shorter, that idiot knelt down and begged me for his job. Try me, just try me.
Coming back, it was a bus conductor who decided to try me. I gave him a thousand naira, he gave me 700 naira then he asked for 200 and gave me back 100. My actual change was supposed to be 800 fucking naira. After half the journey, I nicely asked this idiot to give me back my complete change. I don't even wanna bother with what he said. No, he didn't insult me, was only saying bla bla bla. See, I first stopped my music, folded my beats by dre nicely, and put in in my bag. My crazy 10.0 was loading and this nigga didn't know it. How could he, I looked calm and "normal". Just another girl he could bully. I started to mentally prepare and oh what I prepared for him.. People in the bus started to ask him to please give me my change. My voice had this dangerous ring to it and it really worried the three mothers sitting close to me. I simply told everyone in the bus to expect full stop when I get to my stop and he still hadn't given me my change. Fam, I was NOT joking. Mentally I had prepared, I was ready for anything and everything. Including physically assaulting him. Thank God he was skinny, east target. The man next to me was ready to beat him into a pulp and I banked on that too. All he had to do was try to hit me or something. End of story o. The memory takes me back to one time a conductor, after having taken my money, told me he wouldn't stop me at my actual stop. Fam, in my mind, I was gonna kill us all. I had planned to jump at the driver and swerve the car steering. This is not even a joke. I was 100% gonna do it. But God knows how to save humanity.
How was your day? Did you meet annoying humans? I have to go now, I said all I came to say already. Love and light to you and yours Diarina.
PS. I don't even give a fuck about any one who'd read this and think "omg she's so touty" or whatnot. Uzoamaka Obasi NEVER takes rubbish from NOBODY.
Finally, Amarachi (one of my trainee) arrived. She appolozied for her lateness and told me her reason. "Why didn't you tell me this over the phone" I asked her with my teeth clenched. It's how I suppress anger I don't want erupted. She's a nice girl and she apologized anyways. "Settle in and make me up", I told her..with a smile I could easily come up with. My photographer/friend arrived almost immediately she did, somehow, they both brought back life into me. I don't know why or how, but life came back. The other friend noticed and he teased me saying "oh so it's them that can make you smile abi?" I simply laughed and shrugged. Yo even I didnt know the answer to that.
My trainee did the wrong "look" but somehow it gave me a "va va voom" look. I liked it very much. Of course she still needs more practice but we'll get there. She showed me two tickets she had, for free coldstone ice-cream. Yay! (Wait for it) As I was getting ready to follow her to the Ikeja City Mall (Lagos), a guy (he comes in once in a while) walked in and had the nerve to rubbish my girl's work. I asked him if he could do better and he affirmed. Diarina, because I wanted to see him fail, I dropped my bag, pulled up a chair, brought out my brush set and products (that I had already neatly packed away) and placed them in front of him. "Show me", I said to him. Diarina!!! This nigga had no clue which brush was for what! I mean I expected failure but not this bad!! My eyes couldn't believe what I was seeing! He used brow blending brushes for the eye shadow application, he pounded Amara's face in the name of applying foundation, he used lip brushes to highlight the browbone. Etc. Inside me, I wanted to faint. How I managed to remain calm beats me. Maybe the pacing and music in the background helped. I don't know. Poor Amara. Her face had to go through that torture. I would come, look at his....(I have no name), go back, pace some more. When he was done, everyone in the studio wanted to die!! Amarachi didn't quite know how to scream the scream I could clearly see in her throat. Lord knows my shriek wudda woken up the dead if it was me. Amen.
After wiping....that off her face, we left for coldstone. On the road, she kept going back to that horrible "makeup" experience. Gosh I hate having to use that term for the crapity crap he did! Sigh. Moving on, we arrived at Coldstone and I smiled and showed them our "free tickets". Hahahahhahaha wasn't so free after all. I ended up spending extra 900naira plus the tickets. It was supposed to be 700. Because oreos and wafers. Where the remaining 200 came from, by God and his angels, I DONT KNOW!!! I asked the girl on the counter (who was very grumpy BTW) how the extra money came about and she said some mumbo jumbo bla bla bla yadiyadiya father had a donkey. I smiled and told her, "even though I don't understand what you just said, please just give me the change you want give me". I had given her a thousand naira. Coldstone done, I decided to branch into shoprite to see my friend Joy. It's sorta like my tradition. Come to Ikeja City Mall, see Joy before leaving. Joy seen, I went to the restroom with Amara and oh the stench! I still will report this to the management. People need to get fired or adjust. I don't even give a fuck. Do your job. I don't care. This is not me being mean or whatnot, I believe in people doing their jobs! You getting paid init?? I almost got a guy fired from his job at Silverbird cinemas one time. I went to see a movie, queued up for popcorn. See lemme tell you, that popcorn costs 600naira,at least at that time. That popcorn didn't contain gold, silver or diamonds. Heck, it didn't even contain butter! The ones I buy for a 100naira or even 50naira tastes much better!! Okay, there I was queuing up and this guy had the nerve to ignore me. I tried patience, after ignoring me three times, I nicely spoke to him. He had the never to raise his voice and snap at me. I left. And headed straight for management. I requested to speak with whoever was managing and she came out. Short story shorter, that idiot knelt down and begged me for his job. Try me, just try me.
Coming back, it was a bus conductor who decided to try me. I gave him a thousand naira, he gave me 700 naira then he asked for 200 and gave me back 100. My actual change was supposed to be 800 fucking naira. After half the journey, I nicely asked this idiot to give me back my complete change. I don't even wanna bother with what he said. No, he didn't insult me, was only saying bla bla bla. See, I first stopped my music, folded my beats by dre nicely, and put in in my bag. My crazy 10.0 was loading and this nigga didn't know it. How could he, I looked calm and "normal". Just another girl he could bully. I started to mentally prepare and oh what I prepared for him.. People in the bus started to ask him to please give me my change. My voice had this dangerous ring to it and it really worried the three mothers sitting close to me. I simply told everyone in the bus to expect full stop when I get to my stop and he still hadn't given me my change. Fam, I was NOT joking. Mentally I had prepared, I was ready for anything and everything. Including physically assaulting him. Thank God he was skinny, east target. The man next to me was ready to beat him into a pulp and I banked on that too. All he had to do was try to hit me or something. End of story o. The memory takes me back to one time a conductor, after having taken my money, told me he wouldn't stop me at my actual stop. Fam, in my mind, I was gonna kill us all. I had planned to jump at the driver and swerve the car steering. This is not even a joke. I was 100% gonna do it. But God knows how to save humanity.
How was your day? Did you meet annoying humans? I have to go now, I said all I came to say already. Love and light to you and yours Diarina.
PS. I don't even give a fuck about any one who'd read this and think "omg she's so touty" or whatnot. Uzoamaka Obasi NEVER takes rubbish from NOBODY.
I love ur writeup, good job
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I appreciate this.
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